PLease! give me your constructive criticism on this track!!!

[SoulgMusic]

New live band recording. Were are actually thinking of heading into the studio to record this cut.

i would appreciate any constructive criticism on the structure and overall quality of this track(not including the sound quality since its blueprint).
ive heard some structure issues as well as some vocalist issues. please honestly tell us what you think so we can improve our sound. Eventually we want to record an EP to distribute to our local friends.
basically, tell me if this is worth the effort, or start back at the drawing board.

the track is hosted here at VIBRANCEMUSIC.INFO

thanks!!

SAMMY G

[Spaceduck]

Hey Soulg, I listened to this tune 3 times trying to come up with anything critical I could say. It's really a solid song, nice playing all round & even the recording quality of this 'blueprint' is plenty good on my speakers. Great job  

The only thing I can think to suggest, after thinking really hard, is just before the solo section @ 1:30 it would be neat if you had (to quote Wordman from Eddie & the Cruisers) "a cesura - a timely pause, kind of a strategic silence." You do it really well in the beginning @ 0:13, you could even use the same phrase. That way it would launch into keychange/solo with renewed vigor.

Really, though, this track is fantastic. If this is your rough cut, I can't wait to hear what you can do in the studio!

By the way, what's the mp3 player you have embedded on your website? I've been looking for a good trimmed down player (without all the Soundclick, Myspace junk). Yours looks great.

[SoulgMusic]

Awesome man, that means a lot. Yea we were surprised what our little BOSS 8-track could do. It sounds kinda nice if you have a decent set of speakers! funny you mention that phrase, i was trying to persuade the guys to add another where you mentioned, or even as the ending. after all that they actually cut a few measures out of the bridge to my dismay, but what can ya do. And i do LOVE stops, i admire how Wordman put it, might use that to convince the guys to be open to accents like that.

but hey, thanks for the time you spent looking it over. This is only 1 of 4 we put down that night. I might even post another up here for the same reason.


That mp3 player is one of 2 that godaddy provides for temporary hosting on their server. They allow 1 song to be uploaded along with a few basic pages free of charge since i found that its about $12 a month to have it hosted by a company. the only thing; they put that annoying add above our banner. so im thinking i can wait until my buddy can actually host us on our University server for free!

thanks again for your input!

[Barth]

Hi SoulG.

Like SpaceDuck I've listened to your track a couple of times. I think it is definitely worth recording, don't worry.

I'll just give my comments here, do with them what you like. If some of my comments seem too direct, please excuse me: English is not my native language so articulating nuances is not always easy.

Right.

Starting with the intro.
Firstly, in my opinion you create a different atmosphere in the first 18 seconds than in the rest of the song. The opening chords are a bit in the style of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, but the opening ends with a Steely Dan type of chord. Although the RHCP part provides a cool and direct opening it is a bit out of place, also because it never returns in the rest of the tune. Personally, I see two options: you could either repeat the first phrase somewhere (e.g. as an interlude towards solo's) or replace it with an intro that is closer to the rest of the composition. I would propose the latter. You could very well use the ending (starting at 3.29) as a replacement.
Secondly, in the following part between 0:18 and 0:28 I found the guitar slightly over-present. As I understand the part, it focuses on a rhythmic rhodes/bass feature. In my opinion, the guitar fills could be a better tailored to this. This will make the intro less unorganized. It also may be solved by clever mixing, but I think it is better to solve things through clever arranging/phrasing.
Finally, one thing that is always difficult is the timing of syncopations, especially the rests between the notes...I always say that it is more difficult to time when you don't play than when you do play. In the case of your track you can hear that the syncopation between 0:38 and 0:43 and those at the ends of the verses are slightly wobbly in terms of timing: in general they tend to accelerate towards the end. My advice would be to just rehearse those parts with a metronome or click-track and practice keeping your cool. The only reason why timing rests is difficult is because you get worried you'll be too late for the next playing moment
;-)

Verses.
Cool stuff, well phrased. Nice. My only comment would be to be more selective with the guitar riffs. Try to find a way to have them complement the vocals.

After the second verse.
I found this a very nice transition. The thing that surprised me though, was that it is not really clear where it transitions to... I expected a chorus but that didn't happen. So my next thought was "oh, it's a solo part". But if that's the case, I think it should be clearer who does the solo and who accompanies. The soloist should introduce himself more clearly, I think. You could also think of a construction to have the first half be the chorus and the second half a solo. There are many roads that lead to Rome.

The transition at 2:01 is again very nice! My only comment would be that the drum part is a bit unclear in the second half of each bar. The drummer is playing quite difficult stuff there, which sometimes makes the part sound less fluid.

As an approach to the final verse I would say to the Rhodes player: give it all you've got.

At the final verse, I would suggest the drummer to open up on his cymbals.

After the final verse, let the guitar player take it away, all the way over the part with the long chords (around 3:10) and round off the song towards the ending (3:29). The drum part from 3:10 on is again a bit staccato (see above).

Ending: excellent! I would use it as an intro.

Oops. I didn't expect to write so much, sorry.
Again, please excuse me if my comments appear too direct. It's my Dutch nature. I really tried to write down the comments that I thought would improve the quality of the tune. Do with them whatever you like.

Good luck, very cool song. I hope you'll post the final recording as well.

Best,
Barth